As I said before, Joe and I were good friends before we decided to start dating. Our friendship began about 5 years before we started dating, in fact. I have so many memories of us. The following summer road trip (after the one where we met) was also an interesting one. It's the one where I fully developed my crush and where we fully developed our friendship.
There are too many details to go into in describing that road trip. We ended up in Wyoming that summer and one of our vans got into an accident that essentially brought all of us who had been familiar acquaintances closer together. Aimee and I truly became best friends. Nate and I became like brother and sister. And Joe and I almost started dating then. All I can say is that he was a flirt. And one day during lunch apparently Aimee had asked him if he and I were going to be the next church couple. To which he replied, "maybe."
Neither of us were anywhere close to ready to date at that point. We were just 16 and had never been in relationships before and barely knew anything about the opposite gender. But that's when my crush formed and it never ended. Even when I became so upset that I ended our friendship. Even the countless times we drew boundaries in our friendship because we didn't want to spend so much time by ourselves. Even when he told me that he didn't like me as any more than a friend. Even when I started to like another guy and told him I was over him. I lied to myself. And for whatever reason, he started liking me as more than a friend.
Because of all that we've been through as friends it's still hard to believe that we're more than friends. Almost every day I'm in awe of the fact that we are dating, hopefully on our way to marriage someday. It is surreal. As if one day the guy I had a crush on tries to make me not like him, and then the next I wake up and he thinks I'm absolutely captivating. I feel like pinching myself because it feels so much like a dream.
I'd like to think that this is what God has intended for me all along. Every relationship should feel like the best dream ever. And every day you should truly be excited to wake up to the reality that you are with the man of your dreams. This is my fairy tale. Like it came straight from the mind of a creative, innovative Author.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The beginning...
On the holiday of Saint Valentine's day with the focus on love, I decided I would talk about my relationship. In two weeks will be mine and Joe's 2 year anniversary. However, our relationship began a long time before that. We'd been friends for 5 years before we started dating. And that's pretty much when I developed a crush on him too. The other day I went way back and remembered a memory I had forgotten about. The day that Joe and I met.
Every summer our church goes on a one week mystery road trip across the country. This began, what? More than ten years ago? Something like that... And every summer during my high school years I went on this mystery road trip. The parents and adult leaders get to know where you go, but the youth in youth group don't get to. The summer after my ninth grade year I really didn't have any friends in my youth group, so going on a one week trip with people I didn't know was quite frightening. But my goal was to meet people and make friends.
That road trip we went to Michigan and worked at many service projects along the way, including a Habitat for Humanity home and a nursing home. During the Habitat project is when I met my best friend and sister Aimee. Later that week our group ended up going to a bowling place. Aimee and I played a game of pool in the meantime. Aimee was already acquainted with and friends with Nate, who came to join us. And because of Nate, Joe came to join us, who Aimee was also already friends with. That was the very first time that Joe and I were formally introduced. These three people would become my best friends in high school.
Now I've always been one of those girls who if a boy stares at her for too long, she thinks they like her. I've had crushes on way too many boys because of this. On the very last day of our trip, our group spent the night in some quiet time with God, reading our Bibles and reflecting on the trip. At one point during my quiet time I just happened to look up and notice that Joe was staring at me. For whatever reason- he was searching for someone else, his eyes just happened to land on me at that exact moment, he actually was staring at me- our eyes met. And I thought that maybe I would give this guy a chance. The following summer on road trip is when we became best friends and I developed a real crush on him. That lasted 5 years and beyond.
There is a disclaimer that goes along with this story. I had a crush on my best friend for 5 years before we started dating. There were so many times when I realized that I should just give up and look for someone else. The pain and heartache is not worth it. Joe was hell-bent on making me not like him. It hurt, a lot, and I wished I had just let go of that friendship because I knew that we could never be just friends. I liked him too much and in order for me to stop liking him, we needed to not hang out all the time.
My story is a very unique one. And for whatever reason, God kept us hanging on and developed more than just a friendship. But it took 5 years to get there. I do not, by any means, promote girls getting their hopes up in a boy they have a crush on who doesn't like them back, thinking that someday (five years down the road) that he'll end up liking her back. Highly unlikely. There is probably another guy out there waiting to make you his princess. But you need to let go of the guy you are enamored with in order to find him.
I love my boyfriend very much and as my story is a minority, I need to make it clear that it wasn't easy. It's still not easy. But he is my best friend. And this relationship still feels so surreal. Is this actually happening? He holds me and whispers affirmations to me every 5 minutes and comforts me and knows the look on my face and accepts my crazy playfulness. He makes me laugh and tells me he loves me every time we talk. He makes me feel important, like I'm the only girl in the world, his girl.
So, on this day of commercial advertisement of love, I shared with you my love story. There's more to it, and in the coming weeks leading up to our two year anniversary I'll share more of our story. And know that neither Joe nor I condone Valentine's Day as the only day to celebrate. We declare our love every day.
Every summer our church goes on a one week mystery road trip across the country. This began, what? More than ten years ago? Something like that... And every summer during my high school years I went on this mystery road trip. The parents and adult leaders get to know where you go, but the youth in youth group don't get to. The summer after my ninth grade year I really didn't have any friends in my youth group, so going on a one week trip with people I didn't know was quite frightening. But my goal was to meet people and make friends.
That road trip we went to Michigan and worked at many service projects along the way, including a Habitat for Humanity home and a nursing home. During the Habitat project is when I met my best friend and sister Aimee. Later that week our group ended up going to a bowling place. Aimee and I played a game of pool in the meantime. Aimee was already acquainted with and friends with Nate, who came to join us. And because of Nate, Joe came to join us, who Aimee was also already friends with. That was the very first time that Joe and I were formally introduced. These three people would become my best friends in high school.
Now I've always been one of those girls who if a boy stares at her for too long, she thinks they like her. I've had crushes on way too many boys because of this. On the very last day of our trip, our group spent the night in some quiet time with God, reading our Bibles and reflecting on the trip. At one point during my quiet time I just happened to look up and notice that Joe was staring at me. For whatever reason- he was searching for someone else, his eyes just happened to land on me at that exact moment, he actually was staring at me- our eyes met. And I thought that maybe I would give this guy a chance. The following summer on road trip is when we became best friends and I developed a real crush on him. That lasted 5 years and beyond.
There is a disclaimer that goes along with this story. I had a crush on my best friend for 5 years before we started dating. There were so many times when I realized that I should just give up and look for someone else. The pain and heartache is not worth it. Joe was hell-bent on making me not like him. It hurt, a lot, and I wished I had just let go of that friendship because I knew that we could never be just friends. I liked him too much and in order for me to stop liking him, we needed to not hang out all the time.
My story is a very unique one. And for whatever reason, God kept us hanging on and developed more than just a friendship. But it took 5 years to get there. I do not, by any means, promote girls getting their hopes up in a boy they have a crush on who doesn't like them back, thinking that someday (five years down the road) that he'll end up liking her back. Highly unlikely. There is probably another guy out there waiting to make you his princess. But you need to let go of the guy you are enamored with in order to find him.
I love my boyfriend very much and as my story is a minority, I need to make it clear that it wasn't easy. It's still not easy. But he is my best friend. And this relationship still feels so surreal. Is this actually happening? He holds me and whispers affirmations to me every 5 minutes and comforts me and knows the look on my face and accepts my crazy playfulness. He makes me laugh and tells me he loves me every time we talk. He makes me feel important, like I'm the only girl in the world, his girl.
So, on this day of commercial advertisement of love, I shared with you my love story. There's more to it, and in the coming weeks leading up to our two year anniversary I'll share more of our story. And know that neither Joe nor I condone Valentine's Day as the only day to celebrate. We declare our love every day.
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